It Will Be Worth It

I was reading through my journal and I came across an entry I would like to share.

January 11th, 2015 (slightly edited for the sake of privacy of others)
Friday night, we were all at the apartment across the hall (2304) talking to a girl who recently returned from her mission. We were talking about the Lord's timing and being in the right place, at the right time, with the right people. I bear testimony that all those things apply to my life right now. While we were talking, I strongly felt that my life plan is supposed to change. I don't know what it's supposed to be yet, but I know that my plan of working over the summer and going back fall semester, then going on a mission, is supposed to change. I'm not quite sure if I'm supposed to attend spring semester and work in Rexburg, or just go home in April and get a job. Right now I'm thinking the plan is going home in April and preparing to put in my papers in July. I feel like the reason the plan is changing is there is someone very specific who needs me, or I need them, or both. The need is sooner than the Lord's original timing. I'm slightly overwhelmed. Super duper excited! But slightly overwhelmed. . .
Leaving before December means that this was the last family Christmas until I get back. Maybe that's why we were blessed with such a wonderful Christmas. . .
Today, in church, Bishop Bair discussed "Que Sara, Sara." The future's not mine to see, it's God's. The adversary is going to work hard on me this semester, So I have to fight hard and put on the armor of God, every day. I don't feel ready, but the Lord will prepare me.


Cons of going on a mission
-I will not see my family or friends for 18 months
-I will only see/hear my family on Skype 3 times during that 18 months
-No Netflix binging
-No Pinterest
-I will have to make a lot of new friends when I get back to school since many of my friends may not be there when I return
-No dance classes for 18 months
-Going back into the Dance program at BYUI after 18 months of no dancing is sure to be a challenge
-No Yogurtland
-No In N Out!

So why am I doing it???

I firmly believe that God has prepared me in so many ways throughout my life to go to Oklahoma/Kansas/Missouri/Arkansas. He has put so many people in my life that have helped me get ready for the moment I start preaching the wonderful gospel to the people of the Arkansas Bentonville Mission. God has been preparing me my whole life.
I feel very strongly that there are very specific people that have been prepared for me to serve, just as I have prepared to serve them. I am preparing to teach and to be taught. I LOVE the gospel of Jesus Christ. Its message is one of peace, joy, comfort and hope.

I feel so inadequate. Like seriously. I'm only 19 years old, I've attended 1 year of college. How am I qualified to share this extremely important message???
President Thomas S. Monson said, "When we are on the Lord's errand, we are entitled to the Lord's help. Remember that whom the Lord calls, the Lord qualifies." I know this is true. I firmly believe part of the reason the Lord calls us in our late teens/early 20's is because of our vast inexperience. As I have been preparing for this experience, people have asked "How are you feeling?" and 80% of the time I just want to answer with, "YOUNG." However, it is because of this very feeling that I will have to completely rely on God with full humility, and I will be strengthened and directed by Him.

Pros of going on a mission
-Seeing how God changes lives
-Sharing God's wonderful love with others
-Sharing truth with those who seek it
-Witnessing how God uses me as an instrument in His hands to help His children
-God will bless me and help me with any struggles on the mission or after

Someone who is also going to my mission posted this on Instagram and this is seriously exactly how I feel!!!

I know this is God's plan for me. I am anxious to start this new adventure, but I know great things and incredible miracles await.

1 Nephi 9:6 But the Lord knoweth all things from the beginning; wherefore, he prepareth a way to accomplish all his works among the children of men; for behold, he hath all power unto the fulfilling of all his words. And thus it is. Amen.